Small Talk: Cozy or Confusing?

"Such lovely drapes you have, Karen."

"Thank you, Susan. I got them 20% off."

"Aaaah, how exciting!"

"I know, I know, it was such a thrill!"

OK, raise your hand if you're dying to be a part of that conversation. Didn't think so. Human beings are social creatures, and as such we seek out the company of others, and long to be part of a community. In order to succeed at this we must know how to act around each other, how to be pleasant, and in striving to be that we inevitably end up doing one of the things I hate the very most: we small talk. Now, what I mean isn't having conversations about unimportant stuff, or messing around and having a laugh over silly things. No, no, what I'm talking about is much worse: the 15 minute conversation about what flower arrangement Lauren had at her last Sunday dinner with the in-laws, or the 20 minute admiration of the new set of pans Fiona just HAD to have. The kind of topics that make you consider murder-suicide, because you know that even if you get rid of that person, what they just said is gonna be stuck in your brain, leaving you with no other choice but to end the misery (which is much better than the mental abuse you'd have to endure having to relive that horrible conversation about why Jane prefers to do dishes with a brush instead of a sponge.)
  There is another side to small talk, where the topic at hand isn't necessarily boring by default, but where the unwillingness of the average person to be completely honest shoots down any chance of the conversation turning into anything worth engaging in. Why are we going to discuss our relationships, our childhood, our thoughts and feelings etc, when all we do is say "Oh no, it's great.. everything is/was really great. Super! I'm thrilled. Loved it. Totes amaze!" Is it perhaps in reality the sound of our own voice we're so addicted to, not companionship and being social?

I'm a very honest person, and I'll talk openly about most things. When I talk to people, I do it from the heart, no matter what subject we're discussing. How can we connect with each other if we're all singing the same tune of  "everything's fine", instead of just being open and honest and saying "So yeah, I haven't had sex for two months, and it's really starting to get to me. Thanks for asking, though." Is that too vulgar? Too much information? You asked how I was doing, and that's how I'm doing. Next time: don't ask, you asshole.