OK, let's start from the top:
The Hair
I'm really big on hair. As in really, really. As in I might ask a guy for seemingly no reason "So.. is your dad bald?" to check if he's got good hair genes kind of "really, really". Let's see how well they fare.
Chris:
Chris has locks worthy of a God.
His hair is probably that greased up because his wife can't stop running her hands through it. |
Thor, to be exact. His hair is long, blond, and gorgeous. I'm giving him a 10/10 on this one.
He's kind of got a Kurt Cobain thing going on here. Kind of.. no? |
You don't get the part of Thor with the mane of Danny DeVito.
Sorry Big D! I promise you were first runner-up! |
Liam:
Contrary to his older brother, Liam keeps his dark/dirty/golden blond hair short.
He has perfected the art of "How you doin'?" women. |
It's well-kept, gorgeously styled, and wonderfully thick. It makes me want to put my hands through it and pull. Hard.
Don't look so shocked, Liam. It's not like you haven't heard that one before. |
I give Liam a 10/10 as well. So far the score is 1 - 1.
The Eyes
"The eyes are the windows to the soul" is what many uninspired individuals proclaim with fake profundity. What do a man's eyes *really* double as? Panty stealers.
Chris:
Icy blue and crystal clear, the older Hemsworth brother's eyes have an almost illuminating quality about them.
Being the Norse God of Thunder, it is only appropriate that he looks this Nordic. I'm not really a fan of the whole Northern European look on women, but on men... it's another 10/10!
Even from this angle, you can see how the eyes just.. shine. Oh Thor.. I mean, Chris. |
Liam:
Maybe it's coincidence, maybe it's magic, or maybe it's because they're brothers and therefore the odds of them having similar features are quite high, but everything that was said about Chris' eyes is applicable to Liam's.
Were those my panties that just flew off? |
The one difference might be that Chris' eyes are clearer, while Liam's are lighter, so they've got their own unique winning point. Liam gets a 10/10 for this one as well.
A demonstration of the amount of effort Liam generally has to put into picking up women. |
So far the score is 2 - 2.
The Mouth
In my opinion, the mouth is one of the sexiest and most sensual places on the human face/body. Naturally, the Hemsworth brothers don't disappoint in this area either.
Chris:
If "sexy", "boyishly cute", and "carefree" joined and created a mouth, it would look a little something like this:
Imagine being his wife or mother and having to ever say no to him to anything. Mission impossible. |
Combine it with the amazing hair and beautiful eyes and this is what you've got:
Chris gets - you guessed it - another 10/10.
Liam:
If "mischievous", "devilish trickster", "SEX" and "warmth" created a mouth, it would look a little something like this:
He would only have to lick his lips at me like that once. |
Liam's face is dangerous. He's so sexy, women spontaneously go off their period when he's within a 20 mile radius, in order for it to be possible to bear his child. It's just biology.
Even more dangerous is the fact that there's so much manliness coming off him, that being around him is enough to impregnate really fertile women. |
Another 10/10 for Liam as well.
The score is now 3 - 3.
The Body
If I have to explain to you what makes a man's body so appealing, you're reading the wrong blog. Let's get to it!
Chris:
30 years old, and 6"4 (about 192 cm) tall, I don't even know where to begin with this hunk of a man. The arms, the chest, the abs? I think I'll just let the pictures speak for themselves.
I felt we required a still photo for this. It's difficult enough to concentrate as is! Just.. wow. |
And one with movement just because:
Good news, bad news situation. The good news is that this guy actually exist. The bad news? He's not a part of your life.. at all. |
Unsurprisingly Chris gets (yet another) 10/10!(!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Liam:
While not as ripped as his older brother, 23 year old Liam has an amazing build and is reportedly 6"3 (about 191 cm). Just take a look at these shoulders:
Yes, I realize he's wearing a shirt. Yes, I know you're disappointed. LOOK AT THOSE SHOULDERS! |
Here's a topless one for the pervs (yes, I am one of them):
While his muscles aren't as defined, he's just so.. big! And look at that arm hair - *very* manly! |
I'm giving Liam a 10/10 as well.
Final score: 4 - 4.
Conclusion
I realize some of you may disagree with the scores, particularly the body one (because Chris is undeniably more ripped than Liam), but I figure if I give them the same score on the mouth (when Liam's lips are obviously more luscious than those of his older brother), I can do the same with the body score as well. Don't get me wrong, I truly feel they deserve the scores I gave them; if I didn't, I would have scored them differently.
As you can see, my analysis didn't help me at all. I'm still just as confused as I was before I started, if not even more so. I guess the only way to decide would be to sleep with both of them, individually and together. It would be a tough job, but in the name of research, I'd do it - for you, my readers. I'll examine the possibilities of this happening and get back to you.
Hope you all had a lovely Christmas!
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Yours,
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