Honesty in a Dishonest World

I was quite an unusual child. I learned how to speak very early, sometime within my first year of life, and quite frankly haven't shut up since. I was very outgoing, smiling, and alround happy. Growing up I didn't have a lot of friends, but it never really bothered nor affected me significantly. In a weird way, I feel it is the reason I am so comfortable being exactly how I am, regardless of how others might feel about it; I never felt the need to impress anyone. Not having friends, and not being part of an in crowd, I never had to. When I finally did start making friends at around age 12, I'd never known fake friendships or artificial personalities, and had never had to compromise my inner self for anyone, so the people who became my friends liked me for who I actually was, which straight away resulted in a solid foundation, meaning if I ever met anyone who didn't like me for me, it didn't matter because I knew plenty of people who did. The girls who became my closest friends back then are still my best friends now, around a decade later. As I grew older however, I began to understand that most people are not like this. Most people care a great deal what others think of them (and typically never for reasons they should). It's always the superficial stuff: Do I look smart enough? Do people think I'm beautiful? Do they think I'm nice? The last one in particular is very interesting to me, as it's one that's puzzled me for a while. How many people do you know that seem like such nice people, but upon closer inspection are complete assholes? Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of assholes that own up to it, and though I don't agree with their impolite ways, I certainly respect their honesty about who they are as a person, rather than the concealed asshole, who worries a great deal about seeming nice, but doesn't try hard at all to actually be nice. Instead they put on a pleasant mask, interacting with everybody, being everyone's friend, gaining people's trust, stabbing them in the back, and then pretend to be completely innocent. People don't want to put an effort into being better people, they would rather be gross human beings and then lie about it, because for some reason that seems to be easier, more natural to them. I will never understand this. To me, lying is one of the most despicable things we can do to each other as human beings (horrific violent acts not included). I never lie. Ever. I might not tell you every little detail about my life, and if you ask about things that are none of your business I might say no instead of yes, but that is guarding my right to privacy, not denying you your supposed right of complete insight into everything. No, lying is something else. It's when you do something wrong, hurt someone, and instead of coming clean, say "It wasn't me" (yes yes, like the Shaggy song). Not only did you do wrong by someone, but then you also felt you had the right to deceive them even further, because you were scared of how you would look if they ever found out. How about just not fucking it up in the first place? If you're so concerned about seeming like a good person, be a fucking good person! Actively try to improve yourself, and you will improve. It's. That. Freaking. Simple. We're human beings, we're not set in stone; we can change!  If you know something you want to do will hurt someone, and you can't own up to it afterwards (i.e. you'll lie about it) don't do it, you pathetic coward. You don't have to follow every desire you have! Ever heard about "control"? Oh you have? Practice it. I strive to actually be a person I can be proud of, not to just appear to be! I am unapologetic for how I am, but I live by a code of honesty without rudeness, openness without naivety, freedom with control, and humor in everything, for nothing strengthens us more than the ability to laugh. Unfortunately, honesty and freedom aren't valued anymore; they're frowned upon, while lying in order to keep up appearances in a deceitful world, has become the "comfortable" way of living.