The Problem With Sinning And Arguments That End With "Because God"

If there is one thing religious lunatics (and that does not include all religious people) love to go on about it's the concept of sin. Everywhere they look people are committing sins and it's their god given right duty to inform everyone and anyone who will listen, that what they're doing is wrong while molesting children living righteous lives themselves.

Basically.

Now, I don't mind people being like this - OK who am I kidding, people like this awaken feelings of violence I didn't know I had - but what I mean is if people want to live their lives out of a book that's not Harry Potter, that's their business. When they start calling basic and quite frankly very simple concepts "madness" and "lunacy" because GOD, I get anxious. I was watching a documentary about LGBT children and the parents that love them, and some of the comments it got really irritated me. Sure, they were rude, disgusting, revolting remarks, made by really, really stupid people, but that's not what irritated me. What was it then? The use of "God" as a mental health diagnostic tool. Before I move on, let me make one thing very clear:

*Disclaimer* Out of respect for my religious friends and family, who are amazing, loving, understanding, and caring individuals, I shall try to be nice about it. While I maintain absolutely no respect for religion, religious practices, religious ideas, or just about anything that has anything to do with religion, as I find the practice of religion outdated, harmful, and very dangerous, I do respect religious people who maintain a love for their fellow man. OK, now the message.

In my humble opinion, religion is as made up as the Harry Potter books, only far less entertaining, and with much worse story lines than what good old Rowling came up with. If she'd written a religion, I'd probably find it worth belonging to, to be honest. HAIL ROWLING. OK, back to the point. Religion is complete and utter nonsense. The belief in invisible deities, magic (oh no, I'm sorry it's not "magic" it's "miracles"), and let's not forget the teaching of being ashamed of and hating just about everything that makes us human, is absolutely incomprehensible to me, but then again I'm very comfortable with being a human being and the bodily desires that comes with it.

We're all just human beans, elderpeoplechildren.

However, as with everything else, if that's what you want to do in your private life, I'm fine with it. Do I wish religion was eradicated? Yes. Do I think it should be banned? Yes No! OK, I do, I do! I fucking hate religion! But would I ever support any initiative that wanted to ban religion? NO! Because I think people should be free to live their lives exactly how they want! If that includes vengeful invisible sky wizards and magic tricks, that's fine! *Oprah voice* HOWEVEEEEEEEER! When these people start passing laws, limiting rights, and even quoting their holy books in what is supposed to be intellectual debates, shit has gone far enough. How did we end up in a world, where in 2014 religion is still taken so seriously that politicians get to use it as their election strategy? I can't make sense of it! I imagine it's because of this apparent acceptance of religion as something perfectly reasonable that they feel it's OK to label something as "madness because God", having spent no time at all even bothering to understand the by now pretty well understood mechanics of these things. The distinction between these people, and other religious people who "disagree" with the "lifestyle choices" made by some is that if you simply say "I disagree because God", you're only expressing your own opinion, and freely admitting to how uneducated that opinion is. I prefer this to adopting scientific terminology, hiding behind titles of Dr Something, and then saying something like "Homosexuality is not biological. The evidence for it is futile at best. Besides, God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. It's a sin." See the difference?

Are we really going to listen to these people? Their attempts at reasoning seldom produce anything solid.

This brings us to the concept of "sin". I can tell you right now that I have done and still do a lot of things considered to be very sinful. Does that mean I'm doing anything harmful or wrong? No. I'm not religious, therefore these things don't apply to me (whether you'd like them to or not). I have many gay friends. They are ALL sinners before GOD. Does that mean that what and who they are is wrong in any way, shape or form? No! From, say a Christian point of view, they are all sinners etc., but from a scientific point of view (from which I look at the world) there is nothing wrong with being gay. In fact, science doesn't even bother to consider this. What we are looking for is what causes some people to be heterosexual and others to be homosexual because it's interesting and is another mystery to solve. From this point of view, there is nothing wrong with having multiple sexual partners either. In fact, I encourage you to explore your sexuality if you so desire. If not, then don't. That's the beauty of being free - you get to choose your own life and you get to decide what is right for you, yourself!

If Dobby can do it, so can you!

"At the end of the day" (that saying is so annoying) it wouldn't even matter if being gay or transgender was a lifestyle choice in the same way that choosing the amount of sexual partners you have is. Why should it bother the rest of us? Why do people care? I suggest you fill up your existence with enriching activities and stop worrying so much about other people (this coming from a girl with a blog - the irony is not lost on me!).

If you enjoyed this post, like and share it, tweet it, do whatever you do on bloglovin', +1 it on google+, all those sinful activities that will get you smitten.

Yours,

Why Being A "Slut" Is OK & Why I Hate Proverbs

"He who never sleeps, is always awake." - Chinese proverb. OK, so it's actually from a Toyota commercial, but most proverbs are at best that stupid, and at worst used to promote bigoted behaviour like homophobia and "slut shaming".

We all have those friends on Facebook that love posting (what they consider to be) positive, inspirational, life affirming quotes on their timeline. While not a personal preference (I just really am not a fan of most quotes), this is harmless (unless you post an "inspirational" quote next to your profile picture. Your face and/or body doesn't inspire me or anyone else. I can't even..). Some people, however, like to use proverbs and sayings to prove a point. Before I move on, let me make one this very clear: this is not an acceptable way of debating, "proving" a point, or expressing an opinion to a critical audience. Now, I can understand the need for them, because defending bigotry with logical arguments is impossible very challenging, and most bigoted people are already limited (I don't care that your homophobic cousin studies law at Yale - he's still a limited idiot). I'm not saying being a bigot makes you stupid - I'm saying you're a bigot because you're stupid. That doesn't mean you can't do well in school. Anyway, back on point!

  Let's take homophobia as an example. I don't know many homophobic people, because I'm luckily from a family of very loving people who don't judge others based on silly things like what gender they prefer, and I don't surround myself with people like that, so my friend circle doesn't include any bigots either. However, I have heard plenty of homophobic people speak, and it is a frightening, yet also comical experience. Their reasoning is absolutely crazy. There is the obvious perpetrator, the widest used excuse in the Western world: The Bible. This "holy" book is what one of my absolute favourite sayings is based on. In the "battle against homosexuality", the phrase that so many people arm themselves with (and which basically sums up all of their religiously based arguments in one) is this gem: "God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!"

If this is how you are arguing your case right now, dear reader, I have one request: reevaluate your life. In a world where science is (thankfully) becoming ever more dominant, in a place where knowledge is not only respected, but before being deemed worthy knowledge it has to undergo scrutiny from multiple areas, in a time where we know so much and have explanations for complex phenomena, the "Adam and Eve NOT Adam and Steve" non-argument is worth absolutely fuck all. You cannot argue with people who use science, peer reviewed research, and infallible logic like "Well, even if it is a choice, it's not hurting anybody, so why shouldn't consenting adults be free to live how they want?" and say "NOT ADAM AND STEEEEVE!"

By the way, I thought you said God created everyone? Why didn't God create Adam and Steve? What's wrong with them? Sorry Adams and Steves - God didn't create you. On a different note, Adam and Steve look much more attracted to each other than Adam and Eve.

Another saying that really gets to me, is one that I see used (especially by males) all over the internet and that I hear guys say in real life all the time, not to about me personally, but do they say it behind my back? I don't know, and quite frankly I don't care. "What saying is this?", you might be wondering, or you might have already figured it out. Before I move on to it, I'd like to introduce you to my new favourite YouTuber: Laci Green. Laci has this awesome YouTube show called Sex+ which is all about sex positivity for both males and females (if any male is reading this and wants to learn a technique to enable you to have multiple orgasms - just like us females - click here) and in one of her videos that I just came across she addresses slut shaming.

Her video is wonderful, and she makes great points about how self respect doesn't mean a woman can't enjoy multiple partners, and how respecting women means respect based on accomplishments, not amount of sex partners. "Because of her [what society considers] 'bad behaviour' we reduce her status from human being to giant fucking whore". What genius response do I find in the comments?

Yes, this is a perfectly good analogy for human beings.

That saying is as used, abused, and irrelevant as the "not Adam and Steve" one. This is not just a harmless joke; it's a reflection of the lack of understanding society has about female sexuality, that at best is used to bully, shame, and negatively affect a woman's social life, and at worst directly leads to victim blaming. There is nothing wrong with being a sexually active woman who has as many different partners as you want! Just because someone else has a much higher need for sex than you and they're not afraid to act on it, doesn't mean you have to feel so threatened that you have to value them any less as human beings, nor does it mean they are "freaks" or "sex addicts" - they simply operate on a different level, sexually. If you want to have sex with someone new every weekend (or even every day of the week), that is your prerogative, and it's nobody's business. Contrary to popular belief, all women's sex drive isn't on "low and love". Our libido is as varying as men's, and - believe it or not - not all men are hypersexual fuck ogres. I know tons of women who have had issues in their relationships because their boyfriends have been unable to keep up with them sexually, and I know some guys with the same problem. I also know many single women who are scared to act on their urges because of what people might think about them, and it's easy to see why. The women that I do know who aren't afraid of claiming their sexuality are dehumanized, and  the way jealous women and spiteful men talk about them is appalling. When questioned about why it is so horrible and what makes it so wrong, never have I ever been giving a satisfactory answer. Even when I turn it around on the guys I know who are complete manwhores (nothing wrong with that, but since we're using these terms), they genuinely believe that it's OK for them to fuck however many women they please, but that the opposite is dead wrong and the women who do are nasty sluts. This is where we hit that place again - the one where our sexuality as women doesn't exist to serve us, but should exist only for the benefit others. I covered this a bit before in this post but I didn't address the other side of it - victim blaming. When a woman is sexually liberated, the respect that people have for her reduces to the point that if she's raped, her hair, behaviour, make up, sexual history, clothing and level of intoxication all get taken into consideration. This is wrong. Even if a woman is walking down the street drunk, naked and flirting with everyone NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO FORCIBLY HAVE SEX WITH HER AND IF SOMEONE DID SHE IS NOT TO BLAME. I cannot stress how imperative it is that people understand this! It doesn't matter what a woman is wearing, how she is behaving, or how drunk she is: rape is ALWAYS wrong, and  the idea that anyone thinks differently is frightening. It results in cases like this, where an 11 year old girl is gang raped by 18 guys, and the people in the community say things like "These boys have to live with this for the rest of their lives", and "They said she dressed older than her age, wearing makeup and fashions more appropriate to a woman in her 20s. She would hang out with teenage boys at a playground, some said". The boys have to live with it for the rest of their lives? What about the ELEVEN year old girl who was raped by EIGHTEEN guys? And what is up with the focus on how she dressed and acted? She was ELEVEN! GANG RAPED BY EIGHTEEN GUYS! THIS is what happens! Slut shaming leads to victim blaming. No one is immune; not even children.


OK. This blog post turned out a bit more intense than I expected. Originally, this was only supposed to be a rant about how I can't stand it when people use proverbs in an intellectual debate. Oh well. If you enjoyed this post, please like it, share it, tweet it, all that good stuff, just don't do it naked or you're a slutwhore.

Yours,

Genetic Gayness

When discussing homosexuality, so many people get hung up on one thing: is it biological or isn't it? While I understand the scientific interest in human sexuality, development of sexual orientation etc., in a social context I must ask this one question: why does it even matter? What does it matter if a person happens to be romantically and/or sexually attracted to the oppsite, same, or both sexes? A sexually mature person should be free to engage in consensual sex with whoever they please, regardless of gender. Even if it became evident that there were no biological indicators of homosexuality: what relevance would it have? People would still be gay, and that's fine! Actually, it's beyond fine: it's boring, and we shouldn't care. What gender people are attracted to is BORING. I find it intriguing when homophobic, anti-gay rights people use lack of evidence of biological factors as an excuse for their hate. "There is little to no evidence to support that homosexuality is biological. Therefore we should try to cure these people with conversion therapy [anyone that has done basic psychology courses would know that it has been proven to be completely ineffective, short of "testimonials"], refuse them basic human rights, and preferably expose them to ridicule, social stigma, and blame them for HIV". That is literally the argument. The most ironic thing is how homosexuality gets labeled as immoral by ministers who molest children, and conservative US senators that get caught with underaged prostitutes. For a fun insight into how that works, check out this link.

Messy Messages from Maceman

I just read a very disturbing article here, that introduced me to this Christian speaker, who does everything from making excuses for rape..:

 In his book, Dateable, which he describes as a “#1 bestseller” and directs at teenage girls, Lookadoo writes, "Please, please don't tease us. To show us your hot little body … and then tell us we can't touch it is being a tease. You can't look that sexy and then tell us to be on our best behavior.”

..to telling girls to "get out of abusive relationships", rather than tell guys not to be abusive. I'm not saying girls shouldn't get out of abusive relationships, however, I fail to understand why there is so much focus on teaching girls not to become a victim (don't walk alone late, don't wear this, don't act like that etc) rather than teaching men not to be disgusting.
     "You can't look that sexy and then tell us to be on our best behavior.” Really? Is this the message you want to send? Contrary to popular belief, many girls dress however they want, even what is considered "provocatively", because that's how they feel comfortable. Not everyone enjoys knee long skirts, knee high boots, a turtleneck sweater, and a cardigan (AKA the Christian mommy look), so if we choose to wear short shorts and a bustier, it might just be because we feel we look good like that, without any regard for what "men" will think of us, and even less regard for what dressing "sexy" does to any of them. A lot of people might think "oh, but you are doing it for men, whether you are aware of it or not." Please. Don't underestimate the narcissism level of the average person. We are perfectly capable of dressing in the most body enhancing ways simply to marvel at our own bodies. However, if a woman dresses provocatively because she wants male attention: so what? "Male attention" and having a penis forced inside you while you're crying and screaming, trying to fight your attacker off whilst having to listen to him say things like "Come on, you know you want it", are two different things. Even if a woman were to walk down the street completely naked, there is no invitation for rape. How does what a woman wears logically have anything to do with what it allows men to do? If you're a guy reading this: if you saw an attractive, naked (or basically naked) woman walk down the street would your reaction seriously be "Hm, she's naked. Better give her what she wants. If she tries to fight it, it's just roleplay - SHE WANTS IT! Why else would she be walking naked down the street? She obviously wants to get raped."? If your answer to this is yes, I suggest you seek professional help - you're probably suffering from violent tendencies, which paired with a lack of impulse control could get really ugly.
     On the issue of telling girls to get out of abusive relationships, I'm not going to say that I don't agree. If  your man is abusing you physically, emotionally, financially, or in any other way: run! He's not going to change, and it's not your job to save him. That being said, if we focused our efforts on teaching males to respect females, rather than teaching females to avoid bad males, we might have spent our energy more efficiently. Isn't it better to prevent a problem rather than to avoid it?
     One thing that seems to be recurring as well, is that men need to be "Men" (whatever that means), and they need to be assertive (when found in women it's relabeled as "being a bitch"). While I do feel that assertiveness can be a great quality, and certainly one that can help you in your potential career, teaching assertiveness in a dating context can be considered problematic. How would that work, exactly? After a few dates, does "Can I come in?" turn into "Listen, it's been 3 dates. I'm coming in, and I'm also coming in."? Normally I wouldn't have thought of it like that, but if you pair his assertiveness with the sexy dress you're probably wearing, you really should expect to be raped, only it's not rape because you want it. Also, it's your own fault. He's just a man. You can't really expect him to be on his best behaviour, remember?
     On a last note:

Taking advice from.. that. Enough said. If he starts giving out hair styling tips, I'm done with life. Not only does is head look like a mace, he speaks as if he's been hit in the head with one.

*BONUS PICTURE*

Maceman never truly got over the Aqua days.

Forgive and Forget

Men and women are always playfully arguing about which sex is the "stronger" sex. If we're to believe Pat Robertson, it is women. Now, my fellow women, let's not get ahead of ourselves; this is merely an interpretation of what he's saying, because apparently women are to blame for everything that men do wrong, therefore, we are obviously much more in control = we are stronger. Before I continue, I would like you to watch the video below:

"Males have a tendency to wander..  what you wanna do is create a home so wonderful, he doesn't want to wander."

Yes, your weakminded pig of a husband cheated on you because of *your* shortcomings. If only *you'd* been a better wife, he wouldn't have had to resort to cheating. It is not *he* who is the wrongdoer here, it's you. He is, after all, just a man, tempted by the porn industry and naked photos of women everywhere. Poor him.

You wanna know something? If your husband cheats on you, and you can't forgive him: leave him. If you can't forgive this ultimate act of betrayal, then don't. He doesn't deserve your forgiveness, and you shouldn't be forced to compromise your integrity. Eventually, for your own sanity, you should "let go", but it doesn't have to be *with* him. You can let  go apart from him, to make things with your kids easier, and also to relieve yourself of the negativity, but don't feel like you have to sacrifice your own self respect to save your marriage after *he* ruined it.

What pisses me off here is not just the fact that a man cheated, but how it's handled. Husband cheats on wife, wife is blamed for not fulfilling his needs, and told to use positive thinking to help her "get over it". She is ruining her own marriage by focusing so much on it. It's her fault. If a woman were to cheat on her husband, guess who's fault that'd be? Yes, the woman's. She is a Whore of Babylon, she should be stoned to death, how could she do that to her family, to her children, to her poor, poor husband who's always been such a wonderful man, giving her everything etc. Women can't win. We are always to blame for everything, including the shortcomings of men. Take responsibility for your own actions: if you cheat, it's your fault. Not your husband's, not your wife's, not the man or woman you cheat on your spouse with, it's YOUR OWN FAULT. Your decision, your fault. I don't care what's wrong in your marriage, I don't care if your spouse is to blame for every other problem you have (why didn't you leave, if it's so intolerable?): what you decide to do, with your own brain, using your own body, is you own decision, and therefore it is also YOUR OWN FAULT. Women, stop blaming your husband; if he's such a scumbag, you just sound more pathetic for staying with him. Men, stop blaming your wives; the Eve in the Garden of Eden story is getting old. Remember: when you blame others, you give up your power to change.