Thin Thoughts on Troubled Trunks

When my friend sent me a group photo taken at a Backstreet Boys concert back in 2008, I wasn't expecting the feeling of shock that would hit me, giving me a sickening feeling rather like the smell of someone else's fart in a crowded elevator. I thought I'd look awkward, ugly even, convinced that I'd become better at everything beauty related since then, which is why I completely overlooked one tiny detail: I was skinny. Seriously skinny. When I was 16, I decided I wanted to be model skinny, and as such dropped 20 pounds in a matter of a few months, and managed to stay like that until I was about 19. The way I did it was by eating dark bread with nothing on, no gravy on my dinners, eating small portions of food, drinking only water, having next to no chocolate, candy, or any other sort of sweets, and if I did I had to "punish" myself by making sure I burned it all off. I had no "cheat days", and anything I'd eat (healthy or unhealthy) would leave me feeling bad about myself. It wasn't, by any means, an enjoyable existence, but I got used to it, and the reward was certainly not bad. Anyway, back to the present! So I saw the picture and I realized: I need to stop eating so much! I might not give a damn what I put in my mouth (he he), but I'm still just as dominated by food as I've always been, if not my extreme attempt of staying away from it, then my constant consumption of it. I must find a way to be more in balance when it comes to food, however, my stomach is now growling so much, I better go have some chicken first. It doesn't do well to think on an empty stomach :3